Saturday, November 19, 2011

One year. Six months.

Almost a year ago (this Thanksgiving week), on Black Friday, we drove through various neighborhoods looking for houses for sale. We drove by our soon-to-be house, almost not even wanting to look at it (by that time, I was really tired of driving around and not looking forward to my 14hr shift at work).

A week later, we were shown the house, and fell in love.

During the coming month, we would put an offer on it, await inspections, put a new roof on it, sit in front of it and eat lunch. Drive by it once a week.

January 15th, we closed on the house, and spent the night there in sleeping bags.

Almost 4 months later, it was destroyed by one of the worst tornadoes in over 50 years.

I guess I'm feeling a little depressed about all of it lately. I think it's because so much happened this time last year with our house. I was pretty obsessed with it. There was about a month and a half where everything we did was house-buying related, and the anticipation was pretty intense.

Now, a year later, we're waiting on house stuff again, but it's on a grander scheme. I cant say that the anticipation is worse... not yet anyway. I think that we've been waiting for something to happen for so long, that we've lost the reality of the situation. Once we get our building permit and get this show on the road, we'll be pulled back into the stress and excitement.

I'm so ready.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

5/23/11 Note from Facebook

I forgot I had written this, the day after the tornado.....

Just wanted to give you all an update.
Matt and I went back to Joplin this afternoon to see what we could do with stuff from our house.

We managed to get most of our clothing. Yay for my Levi's! Matt even found a pair of shoes.

I found my knitting needles, but the yarn I count as a loss.

I found my Wii, BlueRay player, and the DS. Who knows if any work.

Someone else's flat screen tv was in my kitchen.

I still had a pot of coffee on the maker, and it was still plugged in on the counter where I left it.

Gas was still spewing out of our meter.

There was a blue X on the wall.

There was a bright orange "GAS LEAK" spray painted on my driveway.

There was a huge piece of metal siding wrapped around the maple tree in the front yard.

There was a pink hoodie hugging the trunk of my poor apricot tree.

My rosemary survived.

My hamper still had dirty (dirtier, now) clothes in it.

I found a pot that had previously had a plant in it. The pot was spotless, but the plant seems to have escaped.

Jade's room only lost the roof, and one wall caved in.

All of the remotes were still on the coffee table.

Matt's purple truck started right up. It has no glass, but the lights work and he drove it to his parent's house.

Everything is covered in debris. Insulation, dirt, pieces of other people's lives.

I hugged my neighbors.

Thank you all for your support. We will be okay. We are alive.

Love you.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Rebuilding... hope.

Today we all got up early to go out and have breakfast together. Zoe had a grooming appointment we had to get her to by 8:30am (which is also when school starts) so we all piled up in the car and shivered our way down to Chick-fil-A for breakfast. We got our food and started toward Jade's school. Which is way the hell out east of us. My dad's neighborhood is on the way, and we decided to eat in his driveway, and see what progress he's making in his rebuilding process.

Dad's neighborhood is almost unrecognizable. They got hit pretty bad. Really bad. Even though they were east of us, where the tornado was supposedly smaller/weaker, it doesnt look that way. I still almost cried. And the majority of the neighborhood is being rebuilt! They're making much better progress over there than I've seen in Joplin. Maybe it's just an illusion, because that part of Duquesne is so compact.

Anyway, Matt's afraid that we wont even find Dad's house. But we turn onto his street, and there it is. With 2 rooms framed! We park in the driveway to eat, and I'm just so excited for my dad. I want to get out of the car and go check it all out, but it's wet and cold. So I send my dad a text telling him how excited I am for him.

It makes me excited for us, too. We've told our builder that our budget looks great, so I guess he just has to go downtown to get our building permit stuff going. But I think once my house gets to where my dad's is, it'll really feel like something's happening. And that's a good feeling. :)  Seeing my dad's house this morning has brought back some of the hope that I've felt myself losing.

For a long time, I think I could honestly say that I didnt know what hope was. As Christians, Jesus is our Hope. But I couldnt wrap my head around that. I couldnt understand that my hope should be in Jesus... to take care of everything. To comfort me, to save me, to move me in the right directions. To hold me and tell me that everything's going to be okay, that He's got it all figured out, and I dont have to worry about it. That His plan is perfect. That the world is broken and hurting, but He's there, and He knows. Nothing surprises Jesus.

Maybe I havent exactly been losing hope. Because I know that God's got it all under control. My house will be rebuilt.  Worrying doesnt make anything happen any faster. I just think that I've fallen in a rut. I still have hope in Jesus. He is my hope. But why doesnt it excite me like it should? Where's the fire inside of me that I long to feel? Instead I feel cold, and lazy. Sluggish. Unmotivated. Blah.

But I know where my answers lie: in the Bible. Have a problem? It's in there. Hehe, my friend Jennifer came up with a neat "slogan" so to speak. Instead of "There's an app for that." It's "There's a Psalm for that."  ...Sad? There's a psalm for that. Frustrated? There's a psalm for that. You can use it for just about anything.

Hopeless? There's a psalm for that....