Life Update

It's almost been 3 and a half months since the tornado ripped through Joplin. I still lay awake some nights in unbelief. I can usually avoid having to drive through the middle of town, but when I cant, it still takes my breath away, and sometimes I still cry.

People are still having conversations about where they were that day. We will never forget it. I dont want to forget.

As for things moving on... they are. Slowly.

Jade's enjoying being in school, and is in the colorguard this year. Yay for parades that I cannot avoid any longer. I suppose I should have a little school spirit.

We have talked to a builder. He's given us a good idea of what to expect. He's sent us a budget list for a floorplan we've sent him. Now we're just waiting for him to get in contact with all of the appropriate people for permits and all that paperwork crap. Hopefully it will be all worked out so that the teams building our house will also be building the Newman's at the same time. That'll be so cool. :)

In October, I will be setting something up for the Art Walk. We're super excited about it. We should have pictures, and I will definately share when it's all done.

And finally: work and the holidays. They have some Christmas ornaments out. All of the candles are spicy, pumpkin and cinnamon, and fall scents that make me think of my mom's house. I found myself almost in tears tonight, while I was scanning some Halloween and fall decorations.

When we found our house last year, we were almost able to close on it before Christmas. We hoped we'd be spending Christmas in a brand-new home. That did not happen, we actually closed the second week of January. But I'd been looking forward to actually having Christmas Eve at my house this year, having the space to actually decorate, and a place I wanted to decorate. I was going to have a new Christmas tree, and smelly candles, and put out all of the cheesy Christmas cookie jars my grandmother gave me.

And now I dont even have that house to decorate anymore. I'm certainly not going to go all-out seasonal decor in THIS house. It's depressing to see all of the decorations at work, especially when I spy something that I would have liked to put in my home, knowing exactly where I wanted to put it, how nice it would look, and how cozy it would feel. But that's not going to happen for over a year. I find myself thinking that I would like to just skip the holidays this year.

And then I feel stupid. Cause it's all just STUFF! More of it wont make me happy. It doesnt make me who I am. My house and all the stuff in it, didnt define me, and I dont want it to. I get wrapped up in feeling sad and mourning all the stuff that I lost...

Sadness can blind you to what you have. You can drown in sadness, let it suffocate you, consume you. And you get to a point where you can just see the surface above you.

God always comes in, and reaches down, and pulls me out. Patiently dries me off yet again, and reminds me that I have HIM, and that He is all that I need.