It's been 5 weeks since the tornado.
I am still living with M's co-worker. Hopefully, not for much longer. That might sound mean, but I really just want my own place to live. My own space. Not worrying about if I'm bothering someone.
So what's happened in the week or so since I've written last? Almost nothing. Our insurance company still hasnt given us our settlement check. We'll be paying yet another mortgage payment on a house that doesnt even exist anymore.
Oh yeah. They demo'd our house last Friday. I had to leave when they started tearing down J's room. And it sounded awful. Breaking wood, glass... I could only think of how horrible the destruction sounded crashing down around my husband and daughter during that terrible storm.
Also, this isnt over yet. I drove through town like a million times the other day. It was bad. I'm tired of the dusty dirty smell of town. I'm tired of all the brown, splintery wasteland. You can look down sidestreets and it seems like you're looking over the edge of the world. The blackness of night is almost indescribable. Like driving through Kansas at 2am. Just black. Desolate. What remains of the hospital shines on the horizon. I almost expect zombies to attack when I'm down on 20th street. This is what the world will look like someday. After a bomb, or not. Just some day. Broken, dirty, desolate. Lonely. It breaks my heart. Every. Day.
It'll get better at some point. I just wish I knew when.
No comments:
Post a Comment